Is Your Prayer Life More Like Stumbling Around in the Dark?

The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;

Psalm 20:1

Ping. The YouTube update is expected but not its content: the unexpected death of a prominent Christian author.

The late man’s son and daughter-in-law deliver the sad news. They stare puffy-eyed at the camera, at each other, and away into space. They lean toward each other, drawing back and away as if their unseen audience would disapprove of their emotion. The man’s hoarse voice deepens and cracks. Fumbling for words. The right words. Anything, to say. To fill the silence. Meant perhaps to strengthen, inspire, or encourage their listeners, they fall flat.

A few short days ago, this was the son of a still-alive father, pleading for prayer for his ailing parent. There was still time, he must have thought, still time for fellow believers to storm the gates of heaven. Still time for God to perform His miracle.

Mine was one of the hundreds of thousands of prayers offered for the author before his demise. I know that because everyone who prayed posted their prayers in the comments section of the YouTube videos the son posted daily.

But alas! The end is come, and Oh! It comes much too quickly. Much too quickly.

People pray for the ill and the ill still die. Why weren’t the prayers for healing answered? Why didn’t God hear all those prayers and heal the man? Why didn’t God perform a miracle, any miracle, like He was supposed to?

Aren’t these the struggles of all of us who have ever lost a loved one?

God, why didn’t You answer my prayer?

It’s the day of my grandmother’s funeral. A part of me still believes that God will raise her from the dead. Perhaps not through my dozens of prayers. Maybe He will answer someone else’. All through the church service and the funeral rites, I still hope. I still believe.

Right until they lower her coffin into the ground.

Questions upon questions thunder in my head and all of them ask, why? Why didn’t You hear me, God? Why didn’t You hear my prayers? God, why didn’t You answer my prayers for my Grandmother?

No surprises

Even now, several years after my Grandmother’s death, God hasn’t answered all my questions. He has, however, taught me that nothing that happens in this world takes Him by surprise. There is no coincidence with God. He knows and understands all our hurts and tears, and our hopes and dreams. Doesn’t He place them in us in the first place?

Do you remember Job? Every time I walk face-first into an insurmountable wall, I try to remember that it was God Himself who allowed Satan to bring calamity after disaster after tragedy into Job’s life. Leaving Job an ill miserable husk. Testing his faith, his trust.

Trusting God in the desert place

I’ve learned that it’s so easy to say that I have faith in God. But it’s quite another thing altogether when the faith I profess evaporates when I’m going through problems. Problems that don’t go away even after many a help-me-out-of-this-type prayer. That’s when God teaches me that I must continue to trust in Him. To trust Him. Trust Him through the situation, even if I don’t understand all the why of the situation.

It is not easy. It’s difficult and demanding. It requires a hard look at myself. And at how committed I am still at keeping an open line of communication with God. Through reading His Word. And, yes, through prayer.

Prayer that allows God to move in my life, in my situation, no matter how heart-breaking those situations might be.

Your move

What are some of the ways God has helped you in your struggles with prayer? Share your testimony in the comments section below.


Abba Elohim, Baruch Hashem Adonai!

Thank you for hearing the heart-felt honest prayers of Your children, Your chosen ones! Even when our faith wavers, You are ever faithful, and merciful. Help us, Abba, to keep trusting You. In the Name of Yeshua HaMashiach, I pray this. Amen.

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